such thing as a free lunch

Shortly after we arrived in Prijepolje on Monday, a few of us stopped in a little restaurant for some burek and yogurt. The others chatted with the men in the place as we ate. I listened.

When we were done, one of the men in the place made a big show of paying for our lunch - about 5 euros total - with a crisp new 50 euro note. He also passed out his business cards which said he worked in export/import (AKA smuggling). I thought to myself: he's an obnoxious machista, but at least I got a free lunch. I knew I was only going to be in the town for 3 more hours & had no plans to be back, so I didn't worry.

That act of lunch-buying has provoked endless hours of post-gaming in my office. The story has been told many many times & our reactions questioned & discussed. Should we have let him buy us lunch with his ill-gotten money? Was it a patriarchal power play? Why didn't we demand to pay for ourselves? And - direct at me - does this kind of thing happen in America?

Maybe I'm not as pure in my feminism as my companions, but I'm really not that concerned about it. A man bought us lunch; it doesn't seem to be a big deal to me. With my lesser understanding of the language and culture, I might have missed something important. Even if he was a bigger jerk than I thought, we still will never see him again.

We have another meeting on Monday. I'm sure it will come up again.